


Once in a Lifetime

by yadseut



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Angst and Feels, Boys In Love, Closeted Character, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Love, Firsts, Friends to Lovers, High School Student Harry, High School Student Louis, M/M, My First Fanfic, Secret Relationship, Sexual Experimentation, Sexual Inexperience, Time Skips, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 21:44:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6395029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yadseut/pseuds/yadseut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis meets Harry at the beginning of his freshman year of high school. His life will never be the same, even years later when Harry's no longer a part of it. That's why he remembers little details of their short time together whenever he closes his eyes before he goes to sleep at night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once in a Lifetime

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys this is my first fic so please let me know what you think! I'll be continuing to post little vignettes, little stories, little memories from Louis' perspective. Let me know what kinds of stories you guys would like to hear and I'll see what I can do. Warning, this story might make you feel things. Sorry if there's any spelling or grammar mistakes; I'll be going over it again later to fix things. Thanks for reading!

Do you ever just see someone and know they’re going to be important to you? That’s how Louis felt when he saw Harry. He had just started his freshman year of high school and leaving behind his middle school friends had been difficult. Coming into high school trying to find new friends had been a little bit difficult because he wasn’t an overly social person, but as soon as he saw Harry first sitting in front of him in homeroom and then later in the same row as him in the bandroom, he knew that Harry would be his best friend someday.

Memories come in pieces. When it’s late at night and Louis thinks about his life, he never thinks about what has happened in a coherent storyline, it all comes back in waves. It’s been years, and he still lies in bed thinking of Harry. What he meant to him, what they were. Sometimes you just meet a person who shines so bright on their own that they are unforgettable, even if you haven’t spoken in years. The shine hasn’t dulled for Louis. He can still see the light Harry brought to everyone around him whenever he closes his eyes.

Louis is so proud of himself. A month into high school he gets Harry’s number. After a few weeks of hanging out with him and a few other guys they’ve met in band or guys that Harry knew from his old school, they get to the point where they can be friends outside of school. That means Harry finds him interesting and funny. This shine of light with the honking laugh and the crinkly smile wants to be his friend. Others are drawn to him too, Louis can see that. He is outside the realm of the preppy boys, but is popular among everyone. He just sits in the front row of homeroom, cracking jokes and drawing comics in his binder. Louis wants to be a part of his life.

It is the middle of his sophomore year of high school and Harry comes out to Louis as bisexual. He says that he really likes this boy they’ve all become friends with, someone in their social group but on the outer skirts. Louis is a little bit stunned but as supportive as ever. He hasn’t really ever been friends with someone or even really met someone really who was open about not being straight, at least to his knowledge. Harry never struck him as someone who would like boys, but then again it’s not like he knows much about any of that. Having always gone to a religious school, not many people were open about that stuff. The only gay couple he knew about in the school was happy in their own right, but kind of treated as though they had a barrier around them. Nobody talked to them the way they talked to everyone else. That kind of isolation was scary. His frown stemmed from the idea that Harry would ever have to deal with that kind of reaction. And he notices his frown doesn’t go away when he thinks about Harry choosing someone else over him, that he could like someone over him if he did like boys. He was just a little jealous ok. Plus he knew that Harry would never like him, why would anyone really. He wasn’t attractive; if Harry wanted to date boys, he could find someone way more attractive than he was.

Louis’ fears are realized when Harry says he wants to come out to the group of friends that sits with them in their homeroom. Harry bares his soul, and although the people sitting around them ask questions and seem interested, Louis can already see the barrier forming. Harry is different, threatening. They will still be his friend, but they’ll be guarded now. Being his friend is a liability should other people find out, which of course they will, it’s high school. Even all boys’ schools are full of gossip and rumors. When people find out, they can’t be closest to him or other people will think all of them like boys and it’ll spread and their popularity will go way down. Louis can see his “friends” thinking this in their hesitative support toward Harry. It makes Louis want to tear his hair out, but at the same time, he can see what they mean. Louis hadn’t wanted Harry to tell their friends. He didn’t want rumors to spread and for Harry to get caught up in all of that drama, even if it was true.

It’s time for junior prom, and Louis is going to make this special for Harry. Such a special boy in his life deserves a special time. He makes sure to tell Harry how handsome he looks in his stunning blue suit. He looks as beautiful as ever. Throughout the night, they all dance and have fun together, he and his boy and his friends. It’s some of the most fun he’s ever had. Until a slow song comes on. Their friends brought dates, but Louis and Harry had come to the prom “alone.” Louis looks at Harry dancing by himself jokingly as if he had a partner to dance with, and his heart crumbles. He leaves to go to the restroom, so that his feelings won’t be obvious to everyone around him. Why can’t he and Harry dance together? It’s not fair. He loves Harry. They’ve only been together for five months but they’ve been important to each other for so much longer. He loves Harry and he can’t rest his head on his shoulder while they sway to the music. He looks at himself in the mirror and wipes his face with a wet paper towel. Soon Harry comes in to find him. He looks at Louis and looks around, seeing nobody is there. He kisses him, hard and fast and passionately. In that kiss Louis felt all the love that Harry couldn’t show outside these four walls. Louis kisses him back with just as much feeling, expressing how much he wishes he could be out there with him, but he knows he can’t. They just hold each other for a second before they wordlessly go back to the bathroom door and break apart to return to the dance. The slow songs aren’t over and he sees all the happy couples, but he knows that at the end of the night, most of them won’t be sleeping next to their date, knowing that they’re in love with the most wonderful boy in the world, so who’s the real winner here?

Louis was texting Eleanor, as he did often these days. It was his sophomore year and he hadn’t even had a girlfriend yet. Eleanor seemed to like him, so he was working his way up to asking her on a date. He hadn’t actually met her before, but a lot of his friends had and said she was interested. Harry teased him about her, but supported him and wanted to see him go on his first date. He liked taking the piss more though. One day, they were texting, and Harry dared him to say something really flirtatious and jokey to Eleanor. Louis asked Harry to dare him to do anything else, but Harry stuck to his guns. Louis didn’t want to ruin anything he could potentially have with Eleanor, so he didn’t say anything. He did, however, tell Harry he had completed his dare. He didn’t count on the fact that Harry would check back to see if he had in fact done what he was asked. Before Louis know it, Harry is telling him he broke his trust and why would he lie about something stupid and he doesn’t know if he can ever really trust him again. And Louis is crying and saying he’s sorry but he knows that once trust is broken, it never really fully comes back. Over something so stupid.

At some point during their senior year, people start to suspect things. Harry and Louis are inseparable, they’re just so close. If Harry misses a day of school because he’s sick, Louis is bored all day and doesn’t know what to do with himself. His other friends are fine, but nothing measures up to what he feels when he’s around Harry. Just an overwhelming feeling of contentedness and wonder that this boy has said that he belongs with him. People can see it. See how they look at each other, how when they laugh with each other it’s like nobody else is in the room. Louis used to think that would be isolating, when he would watch the singular gay couple watch around the school. And he still does, he would never want to be out around these people. At the same time, he knows he could make it through anything if he was with Harry. He just doesn’t want to have to. He’s seen Harry after someone asked if he was gay. His bravado was almost intact, but only Louis could see that there was a small part of him that was worried even as he fought off the allegation. He didn’t want Harry to have to deal with the pain of being out in a place that wouldn’t accept that. He didn’t want to be out. The closet he’d been in for the last year or so had always been more of a comfort to him than a prison. Other than the loneliness that comes with not being able to tell anyone about the love of your life and how he makes you feel, the closet wasn’t a bad place to be. He felt safe here, and he had Harry. What else did he need?

Harry has really been focusing on his art lately. Harry’s constant drive to become better and better makes Louis want to take up some kind of creative form so he can be like him. Louis sees the progress everyday in his binder and in the pieces he uploads to this online art website. Harry encourages Louis to join the website and start making things of his own. Louis had tried to vlog on youtube for a couple weeks, but that never really took off; so he follows Harry’s advice and starts to write. He mostly goes on the website just to see what Harry’s been posting and leave comments, but it always makes him smile when people comment on something he’s written, especially Harry. That’s what a real best friend does, supporting you and wanting you to make yourself better. He couldn’t ask for a better best friend than Harry.

Louis is about to move into college and he’s so scared. He doesn’t know what’s going to happen next. He doesn’t have anyone to support him. Anyone he knew in high school who’s going to his college isn’t close enough to him because of how completely he isolated himself with Harry. He can’t let himself think about how Harry is going to college so far away. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do with himself. He’s tried to make Harry less of a part in his heart, but it’s difficult because Harry is his heart at this point. So instead he tries to turn off his heart. He can’t bear the pain of not seeing his love on a regular basis for four years. So instead he tries not to think about it. He feels a twinge of pain in his heart every time he gets a notification from Harry. He gives a reply but he doesn’t let his heart feel the reply. He knows the distance is hurting Harry, too, especially with how little he’s giving him emotionally these days, but he doesn’t know what else he can do. He’s only seventeen he doesn’t know how to deal with this kind of pain on his own. He shouldn’t have to deal with this pain when he’s about to start a new chapter in his life and Harry decided not to be there. He knows why Harry chose a different school, in his brain he knows it. But in his heart all he can think about is how Harry chose to be away from him. He feels guilty for blaming Harry, but then again, that’s another reason why he’s trying to turn off his heart.


End file.
